[After Monica gets a disastrous haircut.]
Ross: How's Monica?
Phoebe: She's calmed down a bit. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Ross: How's the hair?
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you Ross. It doesn't look good.
Joey: Can we see her?
Phoebe: No, your hair looks too good. I think it would only upset her.
Rachel: Oh.
Phoebe: Ross, you can go on in.
Monica: OKAY! Are we ready to play some serious poker?
Ross: Well, I don't know! Phoebe just threw a Jack away because he didn't look happy.
Chandler: I’m sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?
Ross: Hey! She didn’t look 50!
Chandler: Did she look 16?
Monica: What happened to you?
Ross: I went to that tanning place you told me about.
Chandler: Was that place THE SUN?
Chandler: Honey, when I say it's cute other people disagree and I'm lying.
Ross: Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian!
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise they don't let you do it.
[Phoebe is cutting Monica's hair]
Phoebe: Relax, I know what I'm doing, this is how HE wears it.
Monica: How who wears it?
Phoebe: Demi Moore
Monica: Demi Moore is not a he.
Phoebe: Well, he was HE in ARTHUR and in 10 eh,
Monica: THAT'S DUDLEY MOORE!, I said I wanted it like Demi Moore.
Phoebe: Oh, OH!
Monica: OH MY GOD!
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'M SORRY! Which one is Demi Moore?
Monica: SHE'S the ACTRESS, who was in DISCLOSURE, INDECENT PROPOSAL, and GHOST!
Phoebe: OH! Oh she's got gorgeous hair.
Monica: I KNOW!
Chandler: I can handle this. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, "handle" is the middle of my first name!
Reporter: I like that. what's your name?
Phoebe: Pheobe. That's, P, as in Phoebe, H, as in heobe, O as in oebe, E, as in ebe, B, as in bebe, and E as in...Ello there mate!
Monica: Chandler, it's okay. You don't have to be so macho all the time.
Chandler: I'm not macho.
Monica: You're right. I don't know what I was thinking.
Chandler: Ross, if you're not carefull you might not get married AT ALL this year!
Joey: Okay, but you guys will have to be there by the next table so you can stop me if I start saying something stupid
Ross: Just then or all the time? Cause, you know ... we have jobs, you know.
Joey: [To Ross] Forget about Rachel. Go to China, eat Chinese food.
Chandler: Of course there they'd just call it food.
Joey: You think I need a new walk?
Chandler: What?
Joey: Well I've had the same walk since high school and you know how when a guy walks into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a 'take notice' walk.
Chandler: Are you actually saying these words?
[Rachel is upset about something]
Phoebe: It's ok Pheebs.
Rachel: Honey, that's your name!
Phoebe: Oh! I thought that was just something we called each other.
Joey: You didn't cry when Bambi's mum died?
Chandler: Yes, it was so sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer!
[In Ross's apartment] Amy: Could I take this call upstairs?
Ross: Sure... but we don't live there.
Amy: [to Rachel] I thought he was a doctor.
Rachel: He has a Phd.
Amy: Ewww...
Phoebe: Observe the art of seduction. Watch, learn, and don't eat my cookie.
Chandler: So, I guess this is it.
Monica: What's it?
Chandler: Well, it's over. The thing we had.
Monica: Why?
Chandler: Because, we had a fight. I mean-
Monica: Chandler, you don't just give up after you have a fight. I mean, if you do that you'd never have a relationship lasting longer than... Ohhhhh!
Rachel: This is Phoebe and and this is Joey..
Joey: Heey, how are you doing?
Rachel: DONT!
Will: God, we were lame back then. Remember how into dinosaurs we were?
Will: [To Ross] So what do you do now?
Ross: So how long are you in town?
Chandler: I'd like a Google-card
Joey: Are you sure?
Chandler: Yes! .... No! .... GOOGLE!
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler!! :D